I bet y'all think that I'm talking about somebody tackling me.
Maybe somebody bulldozed me in a drill?
Perhaps you assume that someone is currently torturing me.
No. You got it all wrong.
I'm talking about our massage therapists and their dictator-of-a-leader Michael Verbois.
I guess I should explain.
Football is a rough sport. It takes a toll on your body like you can't believe. First, you are running as fast as your can. Next, you drive your body through people. All just to get the ball to go in your favor.
Best... Sport... Ever!
If I don't hear their screams, then I'm clearly not doing a good job.
Now that we have it covered that Football is the best sport ever and that it takes its toll on the body, you can now understand why we bring massage therapists to our practices and games. With muscles and tendons and bones going in all different directions, getting too loose or too tight, it's good to have people who can put your body back together good as new.
A little bit of background:
Michael Verbois has been teaching Massage Therapy and related subjects for many years, and he has graciously used a period of time every year to bring in his students to test their skills on sports players. He does an amazing job teaching his students not only how to hone their skills, but also to watch, ask, and anticipate the needs of the patient through observation.
However, Michael Verbois is a sadist. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that he inflicts pain on others for fun. OK... that sounds pretty dark, but hear me out. Michael's philosophy is to finish the job as quickly and efficiently as possible.
"If you are working for a sports team, you'll have tons of players coming to you asking to get worked on. You don't have time to spend even 10 minutes on each player because they are needed on the field. Do the most effective therapeutic massage on the area of interest in the shortest amount of time. This may cause pain during the therapy, but it will give the best results. If I don't hear their screams, then I'm clearly not doing a good job. Trust me, you'll enjoy it more when you hear their screams."
Although he is (semi-) joking around, his methods have healed so many aches on the Rebels and Warriors. Although he enjoys inflicting pain on others, his goal is to heal his patients, and that is what he teaches his students. His methods are evil in nature, but they are extremely effective.
All joking aside, the Judean Football organization loves Michael Verbois and his students. We are forever grateful for all the hard work they do for us. We as an organization would like to thank them for all their services.