Judean Football is in the NEWS!!!

Updated: Jul 11, 2018

While the entire world is currently tuned into FIFA 2018, the Judean Rebels and Warriors are practicing and working very hard for this coming season. We are hitting hard. No regrets. No pain no gain. No crying at all... unlike some soccer players we may know. (#Neymar #Mondial2018 #FIFA2018 #SoccerCryBabies #JudeanFootballRules)



"I feel he [Neymar] is losing some of his masculinity." - Jason Hess, captain of the Judean Rebels


{Source: Channel 2 - החדשות}


The Worst Impostor in the World - the World of Soccer Is Raging over Neymar's Diving


Brazil is getting closer. Brazil is 3 games away from lifting the trophy for the first time in 16 years, but the path to paradise is filled with embarrassing moments.


[Israeli Announcer] "What will be? What will be? What will be? What's happening over there?"


The amazing moment in Brazil's victory over Mexico was this: Mexican's footaball player, Miguel Layún, stepping lightly, apparently deliberately, on the Jewel of Brazil - Neymar. A crude act that might justify a red card, but certainly would not justify such a nightmare-ish show on the part of Neymar.


[Israeli Announcer] "Look at what Neymar is doing... It's a serious injury."


[Peter Schmeichel] "He looked like he was seriously on his way out of his life. He was dying."

Neymar, the most valuable player in the history of the game, knows how to do wondrous things with the ball, but he always had the tendency to think that it is forbidden for the opponents to touch him.


[Israeli Announcer] "It's nothing! It's not a penalty!"


His habit of falling and twisting on the grass after every contact from the opponent to deceive the referee is a combination of cheating and complete embarrassment.


Yesterday, the Mexicans were furious.


[Juan Carlos Osorio - Head Coach of Mexico] "I think it's a disgrace to football that wastes so much time on one player. We lost the successful game plan in the second half because of the refereeing.."


[Peter Schmeichel] "Neymar tracts so much attention. So that means that all the kids in this world; everybody thinks Neymar is a great player. They see this, and when... and I go and watch... I have two, I have an 8 and 11-year-old in my house. I go and watch them play, and you know what, that's how they do - every time they are fouled they look like that."


[English Announcer] "And then you get rolling and writhing all over... as if he's had an electric shock... It is absolutely ridiculous."

In social media, Neymar has become a joke. His theatrics evoke different associations, and his incessant tumbling has become a trademark, more than the goals he scores. And until the judges come to their senses and realize that his impersonations are sometimes even more worse than the opponent's fouls, let's place him in the mirror.


This is how you look:

[Neymar] "I think it's more of an attempt to discredit me than anything else. I do not really care about criticism."


You have to be fair and admit that Neymar just took a step forward, a familiar problem in the world of football. The judges are easy prey for the players, especially the stars, most of whom pretend in each and every game. Whether it's to get a penalty or a free kick, or the big prize - to get an opposing player ejected. In Israel, the greatest expert is Forward Itai Schechter.


[Jason Hess] "Dominate on 3! Dominate on 3! 1...2...3"

[In Unison] "Dominate!"


Compared with some other sports, the Neymar performances are more suited to classical ballet. [Tackle] Football players and amateur players, like these guys from the Judean Rebels team, see Neymar writhing on the grass after every touch and wonder from what planet the man landed here.


[Jason Hess - Captain of the Judean Rebels] "I really like Neymar. As an athlete he really amazes me, but after I have been playing such an aggressive and tough sport [such as tackle football], I feel he is losing some of his masculinity."


[Matti Gorodenchik - Advisor to the CEO, previous CEO of the Judean Rebels] "It's a joke. It's a blow to everything that's a sport. To me, it belongs to the circus."


After all of this, Neymar is a great footballer, and as long as he is only busy with football and not lying on the grass, we really love him. The problem is that it happens so little.


{Translated into English by David Schenkler}



Just to emphasize Neymar's antics just a little more :)







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